The Worst Superpower

Bob sat on the park bench drinking his coffee in his green suit and green cape. Next to him sat his neighbour John who had no superhero costume, but was instead dressed in jeans and a sensible, navy blue pullover.

“So let me get this straight. Your power is turning things the colour green,” John said.

“Yeah.” Bob didn’t look at John when he answered but stared off into the distance across the expanse of grass ringed by trees. There was a family in the far distance having what looked like a birthday party

“Just green?” John asked. Bob took a sip of coffee.

“Yeah, no other colour,” replied Bob as he began to twirl his finger in his silky cape. It shown bright emerald in the early afternoon sun.

“That’s it? Like you don’t turn things into plants or somehow more ecological?” John prodded.

“No, just the colour.” Bob did his best to hide his mouth screwing and twisting. He liked John.

“No ecological benefit?”


“Any other colours?”

“Just green.” Bob exhaled and looked at his green, velvet, soft boots.

“What about like making them cooler? Or slimier?” John unwrapped a mint and deftly popped it into his mouth with his right thumb.

“No, just the colour.”

“That sucks.”

“Thanks for reminding me John. Appreciate it,” and then he whispered, “dick.”