These are short stories. They won’t take a lot of work. They won’t annoy you because they are all roughly 600-900 words which should take you maybe three to five minutes to read. Let’s think about that. Three to five minutes. is the same amount of time it takes you to do all the good things in your life like go to the bathroom, smoke a cigarette, stalk an ex online or toast bread. Here’s to you and here’s to the short things that mean something in life. Here’s The Jim Kosem Story Explosion.
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“Wow, wait, where did you get these cobwebs?” “I don’t know, I guess they did it for free, it wasn’t on the invoice.” “You know it’s funny, we just paid for the floors to sound haunted, and they suggested we hire one of them to roam around
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In the near future…or maybe later today…a robot stands wavering next to a couple in a upper mid tier Asian fusion restaurant. “Wait, what did you call them?” Stan quipped. “She. And?” “How do you know? Did they self-identify?” The robot stood there, still waiting dutifully for Stan
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“It won’t load.” “What do you mean it won’t load.” “It just won’t. It’s fucking charged. I even plugged it in, but it just won’t load.” “Here, you forgot to update it.” “Oh yeah, that.” “Okay here it is…” They all waited in anticipation for
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“So a mug? Are you kidding me? A fucking mug Derek? That’s it?” “Yeah, that’s about it man.” “So you can’t levitate a car that is about to fall on a kid or anything?” “Nope. Just mugs it seems. Yeah, I know.” “Can you throw the mug
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He didn’t want to die, so he opened up another beer and wondered what was it about this stuff that humans enjoyed so much at times like this. He tried to cry to see what they felt when they were dying or when others they shared direct genes with
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“The dog gets everything it says.” “Sorry, what?” “It says, I mean, written right here in black and, I’m mean, sorry, various colours and white, ‘The dog gets everything.’” “I don’t understand.” “That is The Will I’m afraid. I mean, it literally says ’The dog gets everything.
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“You want to know what’s the worst thing about this ghost?” Shawn said looking at his phone. “What?” Mike was staring at nothing across the street and thinking about also looking at his phone. “I’m pretty sure she’s racist.” Shawn adjusted his baseball hat, and then wiped
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It was the dumbest and possibly worst ransom note ever. Mike didn’t know a lot about ransom notes beyond what he had seen on TV like anyone else. He could tell this was not only amateur, as any good TV cop could immediately deduce, but that it was more
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Bob sat on the park bench drinking his coffee in his green suit and green cape. Next to him sat his neighbour John who had no superhero costume, but was instead dressed in jeans and a sensible, navy blue pullover. “So let me get this straight. Your power is turning
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pt 1: Pizza He found himself in the Co-op buying chocolate milk. Some called the location down rent, but he like to call it proletariat. He had just got off at Essex Road station and needed to pick up some bread anyhow. He probably hadn’t had chocolate milk in
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By Gustav von Schlegelsteinbergsdorfhaffen Edited with care, compassion and love by von Schlegelsteinbergsdorfhaffen’s assistant, manservant and charge d’affairs Giovanni di Mastronzo See the visualisation sensation The Pizza Complex that rocked the nation on the internet here. The Invitation It was a sunny afternoon, a real peach of an
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John Higgins knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was lactose intolerant. He had been tested for it. He had spent his entire life under the cruel, mocking gaze of countless milkshakes, ice cream sundaes and pizza. He had the odd bite of French cheese after a fancy
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Little Bobby Caruso was probably the biggest jerk an eight year old kid could ever possibly be. He just wouldn’t listen. Well at least during that particular school year in Lumombolla County. He had the Devil in him according to Mrs. Farnsworth.That is if she saw fit to