The Hot Dentist

He’d had roughly three semi-major dental procedures including a root canal or two he could have gone without and was ready to destroy his dental health to see her. He wasn’t scared at all for the root canal, because she was kind and she would be staring down into his mouth intently but with deep care, ripping a tiny bundle of nerves going from up his jaw through the hole she would drill through his tooth. He would be staring right into her eyes and it would not really be considered creepy at all probably.

She was very attractive, which he though defied the way the world was supposed to be. Dentists were not supposed to do that. She was slightly, but not overly, short which meant something to him. He wasn’t sure what, but it was there, lingering, implanted in his skull since high school really. He reasoned this was good for a cuddle without much prodding. He was convinced. He would do what it takes.

He already went to her quarterly which he realised was pushing it. Most people went once a year and he had an inkling it might seem suspicious. He was thinking of every other month, but for now, sticking to the seasons made some sort of sense.

He didn’t like sweets even. Not that much since he was a kid. But to self inflict cavities seemed about as wrong as possible. It went against every childhood dental hygiene prime directive. It seemed like the only way. It started small, a bag of Oreos, the big Snickers after work every day. But then he just felt bloated all the time and anxious about gaining weight. Then realising that aside from just not brushing his teeth if he mixed half a cup of sugar with half a cup of water and held it in his mouth without swallowing, he wouldn’t actually ingest the huge calorie doses.

He decided to make the trek to the dentist’s to make another appointment.

“Hi, I would like to make an appointment with ”

“You mean the cleaner?”

“What are you talking about? She’s not the dentist?”

“No, I’m just messing with you. I actually have no idea who this person is and think we have to call the police or something.”