How I'm Crushing It and You Are Not

Photo by Jason Hogan on Unsplash

This past month I not only learned Latin, because after all how else could I be this truly stoic, but also Amharic. As you know I’m going on a solo adventure around Ethiopia to have real coffee, not the uncultured and imitation sewage you’re drinking right now, all of which you couldn’t possibly do, but you will regardless click on every staged photo. Or you have a real job. You feel like absolute rubbish don’t you? Not even worthy of the dirt stuck to the gum stuck to the pavement already covered in piss you’re walking across are you?

I think I can go on and on about this self-helpery dribble because you can’t write on the internet without scamming other people it seems with half baked ideas on how to fix yourself which just might not need fixing and a hustle to have a side hustle which would be your real hustle. All of which is not a job, and super annoying to society, and well, civilisation at large. Please stop.

Photo by Jared Erondu on Unsplash

For example, 90% of Medium is articles by successful, or pretending to be successful, people who go on about some struggle they had and then how they’re now loaded. This of course proves that you can do the same and therefore you’re lazy/shit/etc, and need to buy their lotion, four week course or four whatever the hell.

My rituals are awesome. Copy them and see what happens, which will be unbelievable success. Or nothing. If you’re so in dire need of rituals go back to whatever religion you should or might have had and you get them for free. Chances are they’ve been tested for hundreds if not thousands of years.

Now click a bunch of things so I make money but only about one millionth of what some company makes off of me and then I get into the hamster wheel of content again. Thanks internet.